First love.

We continue the series of articles about teenagers. This time we will talk about teenage love. What is the correct attitude? How can I *** you cope with new feelings correctly? How can family members not move away from each other while the child is completely immersed in a new relationship? Let's figure it out together!

I deliberately did not write the phrase "first love", because the first time a person can fall in love even in kindergarten. Yes, it's just sympathy at first glance, but in fact it's quite a real platonic feelings. With regard to the range of feelings, emotions and hormonal outbursts that we adults consider to be in love, this happens already in adolescence. And we must remember that this is "just love" for us, and for a teenager this is all true love.

Already in the area of 10-12 years, a child may encounter the first serious feelings. For ***, this moment may come even earlier. It is during this period that the time comes for the restructuring of both the physiological parameters of a person and the psycho-emotional ones. By this time, it is better to have repeated family gatherings with stories about parental first love. It's so simple and relaxed, so that the child is interested and fascinating to listen to. Thus, at the right moment, he will reflect what is happening to him and will be more ready than those teenagers with whom older relatives did not share their youthful experiences. In no case do not set the child up for the fact that all this is temporary! How do we know if everything will happen right now like in a fairy tale — the first love and immediately for life? And now we will note a few points that definitely should not be allowed in your behavior towards a teenager in love.

So, it is strictly prohibited:

Belittle the child's feelings, grin and be unnecessarily touched;
Draw your experience to the situation of a teenager;
Deny the feelings of a teenager;
Total control of your child is, for example, checking personal belongings, bags, phone and searching for personal diaries;
Completely restrict a teenager's leisure time outside the home;
Conduct moral lectures and conversations in the style of "just don't you dare have ***!" and
share the news about the feelings of the child.
All this will lead to the fact that the child will be closed from the family, will receive psychological trauma, will become insecure, and may even go into protest and rebellion. Then there will be trouble.

And what is better to do when it has already become known about the feelings of your child?

To talk. Find out what is going on in the child's soul, what his thoughts are. To say that he can share his experiences, no one here condemns him and does not mock him. In these conversations, focus more on the positive qualities of your child.
Do not prevent the child from experimenting with appearance. Let them learn to make up, tie a tie and do styling. Let the first attempts be not very successful. Don't criticize. It is better to praise and *** to correct.
Learn more about the subject of love. Who is it, what do you like about it, and are there any disadvantages, how do they communicate now, what does the teenager in love himself expect from this situation? And tell your child that you are ready to meet the chosen one or the chosen one! Only during the first meeting, sincerely accept this choice of a teenager, no matter how strange it may seem to you.
Participate in the child's relationship exactly at the level that your teenager allows you to. Don't go any further.
Give us the opportunity to make mistakes and get a full-fledged experience. But make it clear that the family is close and everyone supports the teenager in any case.
Be sure to talk about methods of contraception. And in general about the sexual life. Only without moralizing and not in the form of a lecture!
Just be a good friend to your beloved child. So that he sees you as a friend, and not you came up with this role for yourself.

Let's summarize the results. It is important to prepare in advance for the first love. To establish the necessary contact so that when the child falls in love, there is no total separation from the family. In fact, teenage love is a favorable time for strengthening relationships in the family. This is an occasion to become closer to each other, to make the situation inside the family warmer. If adults make catastrophic mistakes in relation to a child, then this is fraught with serious consequences — so you can even develop a fear of relationships in a child or a fear of the opposite ***. In both cases, as in many other negative consequences, life will not seem sweet to anyone.

Just be close, together and show care, warmth, love and sincere interest in your child's life from an early age, and then the first love will eventually become a pleasant memory for the whole family, even if everything goes wrong for your teenager! After all, the first relationship is rarely without drama and intensity. And that's great! Because when, if not at a young age, to live the full range of feelings, living each emotion as acutely as possible?

And in the next article we will talk about the first ***, about sexual education and analyze some more subtle points.

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